I AM NOT NOTHING: PART 1

I had been struggling so much with understanding how we are nothing without God. I've always known my greatest vices are pride and selfishness and my struggle understanding why I needed God to be more, showed this so plainly.

I wrote this a couple years back. I always enjoy documenting thoughts and experiences I have and looking back on them later. This is one that has had meaning to me again lately, feels some what timely, and I decided to share it with you.

I had been struggling so much with understanding how we are nothing without God. I've always known my greatest vices are pride and selfishness and my struggle understanding why I needed God to be more, showed this so plainly.

See I had this belief that felt so right- that I was a co-creator with Christ and together we could accomplish anything and that my righteous desires, even righteous worldly and personal desires, could be realized.

That I had a say in things. That life was not merely for me to navigate whatever crossed my path, but rather I could choose what things I wanted to encounter and God could guide me to those paths.

That it was my faith, my desires, my confidence, my willingness to receive, and my ability to ask that allowed me to play an active part in my life rather than simply tossed to and fro.

“That it was my faith, my desires, my confidence, my willingness to receive, and my ability to ask that allowed me to play an active part in my life rather than simply tossed to and fro."

How then if I had this power was I nothing? I knew I was a daughter of God, a divine spirit, with the capability of becoming like God; a goddess in my own rite. That each of us has that same divine pedigree and ability within us. That is not a woman without power and influence. I was not nothing.

But I knew to think I wasn't nothing was not humble. Yet I felt such conviction of these beliefs. How could the two ever be reconciled? I did not know.